As you can see everything is gone....
I tried to talk to DH last night while the kids were out. He lasted about 5 minutes before he started yelling. When I asked him to TALK to me he only got louder. This all got started because I went some where with out him and he doesn't remember the conversation when I told him I would be doing so. I made plans to do something else with out him and his only reply to this (via email) was ... "i will see if anyone would like to do something with me". This just made me angry!! I tried to explain that IF we could do something without fighting I would gladly do something with him, but even a night at the movies is becoming a pain in the A$$!! I told him what does it matter, if I was home, you would just be sitting in your room without me anyway!! His response.... he said that I NEEDED to "tend" to him because I wanted to, not because he told me to! WHAT???? Then he said "was this your plan to move in with your mother and leave me with nothing" ???? WHAT??? What does ANY of this have to do with me going out for dinner with my girlfriends next week??? Who knows. Could it have been his blood sugar making him crazy,or could it be he's just got issues? Either way clearly we need to sit down and have a LONG talk about us... Now it's just about finding the right time when he will remember it and NOT start yelling!!
I have no idea what he ate all day, but when he got home from work he ate left over Chinese food (pork fried rice, beef teriakyi, and what ever else. For dinner he thought a Jim Dandy (5 scoops of ice cream and all the fixings) would be great for dinner!! Then at about 10pm he thought it would be good to have a cheese sandwich (toasted grilled cheese) and 2 slices of buttered toast and a big glass of OJ. And he wonders why his sugars MIGHT be off (not that he checks them). He has been out of some pills for almost a week now. I told him he knew how to pick up a phone and follow the instructions to order more, it was not my responsibility. He has not done that yet. So who know what his sugars are like!!! He hasn't taken his insulin in months!!
Anyway I have decided 2 things, one is I am going to find some kind of counselor, and 2 i am making a plan to get out of this married if he will not see the counselor with me. Don't get me wrong I still love him, but this is not a healthy relationship. I have to figure out what is going to be the best thing for my kids. I know fighting him for custody is going to be hell, but I am willing to go to hell and back for my kids. So until I figure out what I am really doing, i am going to lay low.
I keep reading everyone's blog and check them daily. When I am reading, I feel like I was writing it. It amazes me how much we have in common, strangers with a common bond. I will delete my blog (in a couple of days) because I don't want DH to find it, because it will come up in my discussion.
So THANK YOU ladies for your stories, they keep me going. I will try to keep in touch.
